Batch Files! What is the most absurd you've seen?

[benign]

I recently started scripting a small "automatic resolution" script for users at my job (500+) that solves common issues they have. It involves clearing out caches, temporary files, killing rogue processes, modifying registry keys, mapping shared drives, creating and mounting PSTs etc.. pretty cool stuff for a batch. I'm now intent on taking it absurdly far with just batch commands (no externals) for the client portion. I've already instituted multi-colors per screen, ascii logos, bug reporting, user activity tracking, software installation requests (thru a scheduled batch and psexec on a server) chatting with the "SySOP" (me) har har - it looks just like an old BBS from the early 90's now haha. I'm proficient at programming with .NET and C++, but I've always been a big fan of batch for some reason.. and now that this thing looks like it does, it reminds me of when I was running a BBS at 12 on Renegade.. oh the nostalgia. It's really absurd. I'm considering adding a (D)ownload section... or even a document repository! wtf?? what's the point?

I came across some cool "Batch Chatrooms" also. These are pretty ingenious ideas that are so simple because the chat screen is simply a text file that is typed to the screen. The text file is appended to from each user is the "room" from a set prompt. Basically the same thing as my "SySOP" chat but with multiple users. I also had an idea for a "Batch Forum". How absurd would that be? I'm convinced you could write an entire company intranet portal using batch! and save $45,000 on some stupid network application deployment appliance (KACE) and just use batch instead to deploy software, inventory your network, deploy batch scripts, etc.. etc...

Anyone agree with me, or am I just batch-it crazy?

[phillid]

I once made a batch chatroom, but I never deployed it because as people say more and more things, client machines are reading larger and larger files. They're read each second from the server's hard disk so it's not such a good idea for me to use it. Maybe if I store the chatroom in memory and reduce update speed....

Anyway, just thought I'd share that fact

Phillid

[miskox]

Code: Select all

@echo off
:00
goto :00

Just to use as much CPU as possible so my Tetris game would run slower.

Saso

[foxidrive]

Code: Select all

@echo off
echo Hello World>nul

[timbertuck]

Code: Select all

@echo off
pause > nul | echo Press any key to continue . . .

but this method does allow you to customize the pause prompt if you wanted to...useful for breakpoints

[Fawers]

Code: Select all

@echo off
echo %cd%^>echo Testing
echo Testing

[Fawers]

Code: Select all

@echo off
echo Hello World>nul

That's most like "Hello void/null". heheh

[foxidrive]

Code: Select all

@echo off
echo %cd%^>echo Testing
echo Testing

That's cool. You could use that in a joke program, like the following.

Code: Select all

@echo off
echo %cd%^>echo Testing
echo Go away and leave me alone, I'm too tired to echo anything!